First and foremost, did I mention that I am probably the best animator this side of the Mississippi? Check out my pistol whipping Pixar thrillin' skills that me and Fat Bellied Girl did to get our Fantasy Football league pumped up for our big draft on Thursday. Oh yeah, did I mention that I am the G-D Commissioner this year? That's right kids, no more "participant" - Mama is in charge! I got a new team name, new look and new friggin attitude.
I just need to refine my strategy....or get one.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Bachelor Pad 2: The Only Day the pH of the Pool is Safe
My favorite show, Bachelor Pad, is back with the same vengeance as the rampant syphilis outbreak that happened in the Orient that caused the obvious shrill insanity, face chewing, forlorn looks of the insufferable Herbert.
Rather than piss myself off and not want to write about anything anymore, I am going to focus on small commentary, because if I attempted to recap all three hours of BP2, I would need to consult a better thesaurus to find synonyms for 'lazy eye', 'skank', and 'sexually transmitted infection'.
Plus I only watched the first hour so far -- that's how bad it is. Although, I actually like Michelle right now, and hope she gets another black eye but gets some sort of parting gift for cancer research.
Anywhoooo here are my main thoughts on HOUR 1:
"I'm Jackie, you might remember me from Brad's 2nd season, I went on the princess date.".
No Jackie, no one remembers you, you are completely UTTERLY forgettable.
Of course her and Ames, the two peeps with the least amount of sex appeal and personalities of a sack of rocks would start hooking up. Thanks Ames. You and your wooden white teeth are banished back to Mount Vernon or wherever you yups come from.
I loooove it. Vienna's mug is fug like a pug and she has crazy lazy eyes that swim in opposite directions.
Thank you ABC, I only wish you reached further into the moldy barrel of rejects and pulled out some stunners like that fat guy Bob [?], the Cambodian whore, or even someone from Joe Millionaire.
Until next week, I will be looking for undies in breathable fabrics.
Rather than piss myself off and not want to write about anything anymore, I am going to focus on small commentary, because if I attempted to recap all three hours of BP2, I would need to consult a better thesaurus to find synonyms for 'lazy eye', 'skank', and 'sexually transmitted infection'.
Plus I only watched the first hour so far -- that's how bad it is. Although, I actually like Michelle right now, and hope she gets another black eye but gets some sort of parting gift for cancer research.
Anywhoooo here are my main thoughts on HOUR 1:
"I'm Jackie, you might remember me from Brad's 2nd season, I went on the princess date.".
No Jackie, no one remembers you, you are completely UTTERLY forgettable.
Of course her and Ames, the two peeps with the least amount of sex appeal and personalities of a sack of rocks would start hooking up. Thanks Ames. You and your wooden white teeth are banished back to Mount Vernon or wherever you yups come from.
I loooove it. Vienna's mug is fug like a pug and she has crazy lazy eyes that swim in opposite directions.
Thank you ABC, I only wish you reached further into the moldy barrel of rejects and pulled out some stunners like that fat guy Bob [?], the Cambodian whore, or even someone from Joe Millionaire.
Until next week, I will be looking for undies in breathable fabrics.
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