Crotch Biscuits: My New Favorite Slang Word

Dostoevsky said (uh I am totally paraphrasing) "Sarcasm is the last refuge of people when the privacy of their soul has been intrusively invaded".  Yikes, if my name was Fyodor I might feel the same way.  Sarcasm, for me, is the bread and butter of my day- the reason I can get through the majority of my meetings without my eyes flopping out of their sockets and my thick red optic nerve swinging them from side to side like a metronome.


Yes, this man looks to have an EXCELLENT sense of humor


I am halfway through Bossypants by Tina Fey, and I have laughed out loud more times than any other book I have ever read (slightly beating My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler and Ruby by VC Andrews that I read for my Tween Book Club with FatBelliedGirl).  Tina Fey makes up her own language, much as she does on 30 Rock, her show.  However, she really outdoes herself in this book, making me fall even more madly in love with her.  Here is a rundown of the items that have made my week (many thanks to my Kindle for telling me how far I have made it into a book):

On Beauty:
Crotch Biscuits: the wobbly triangles on one's inner thigh.

On Emotion:
Blorft: completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to stress with the torpor of a possum.

On Daily Life (this is my most favoritest part ever):
I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that. But now I do.

On Fashion:
Oversize T-shirts, bike shorts, and wrestling shoes. To prevent the silhouette from being to baggy, I would cinch it at the waist with my fanny pack....I was nailing it on a daily basis.

On Tracy Morgan and Cornbread (from 30Rock):
TRACY Like it? I love it! I love that cornbread so much I want to take it out behind the middle school and get it pregnant!


This book has merit for the disgruntled business savvy woman looking to shake things up, and she draws on her improv background many times as the engine that drives her decisions and that has made her successful.  While I cannot really walk into someone's office and say "I can't believe your water just broke (annnnnd go)!" I do think the "Yes AND" part is relevant.  Actually I know it is relevant because two years ago we had an actor come to an offsite and teach us the exact same thing.  Tina Fey is every nerdy concoction of funny that I could ever hope to be.  This book is a gem and highly recommended to kick your sarcastic a$$ out of the dumps.

My favorite male nerd of all time, Urkel who?

And I will end with what happens if you Google Image "Nerd Alert".

From slogger.com

Until next time, I will be sitting in my cubicle, wondering where my friendl the night janitor has gone.

Culmination of True Love

This past long weekend, I was in my bff Amy’s wedding to Nathan Grijalva. It was an absolutely beautiful wedding, she looked simply stunning. As much as my dress was not attractive on me and uncomfortable, the feeling of getting to closely witness the union of two people who love each other so much is truly special. Rather than try to describe everything here is my top 8 of what I loved about their wedding:




8. Amy’s dress, aside from my own, the prettiest wedding dress I have ever seen.


7. Her impeccable eye for detail (pictures to come later of all of the details that I know she slaved over, my Type A lobster).


6. The hysterical, pee in your pants laughing that ensued with everyone there. My stomach hurts so bad today.


5. Someone asking me “If I was OK” out of nowhere and me giving a bitchy “yeah, I’m fiiiine.”. Then two hours later, the same woman came up to apologize because she thought I was the “other blonde bridesmaid- the one who was hammered” (who also happened to be passed out in my bed.


4. Seeing my husband on his knees pounding a Sminoff Ice.


3. Getting to see all my best friends in one place, getting ready together, and acting like a bunch of girls.


2. Ripping the waist of my bridesmaid dress while playing air hockey with Colton.


1. Hearing Nate’s voice crack when he said his vows, and Amy’s too.






Pictures to come!