Growing up, my dad stayed at home and my mom worked. I never thought much of it until I watched the movie Mr Mom. The scene where the clique of moms take Michael Keaton's character to a male strip club was not actually disturbing to me- I figured that is what my father did while we were at school- because to an 8 year old it seemed to portray reality pretty closely in other ways. It wasn't until recently that I admitted this faulty speculation to my father, which was met with some hysterical laughter coupled with a disturbing lack of surprise that was intended to make fun of my gullibility but really only seemed to incriminate my dad.
My father is a jack of any and all trades. He can remodel a room, punish 4 children, grocery shop with two carts, close escrow on 4 houses in a down market, watch an episode of Law and Order, and make a damn delicious gourmet meal in the time it takes normal people to have their morning "movement". There is one thing that my father has not, probably will not, and doesn't care enough to master: EMAIL. He uses email for his business, but, let's just say that the man refuses to learn little tricks like "Reply All". He is an amazing story teller, joke teller, and conversationalist, so it is kind of surprising that his emails lack the same amount of detail. When I get an email from my dad, it always makes me smile...the other day we got going on what may be considered a conversation, though the lack of punctuation and context would prove otherwise. You may not find this as funny as I did, so if that is the case, just delete this web address from your browser history so you never accidentally stumble upon it again and I will continue to produce delicious nuggets for those who appreciate such juvenile humor.
(The only editing I did to this chain was to 1. cut and paste so it was in chronological order and 2. take out a really dirty joke that I emailed him. If you read my earlier post, it was just the rough joke in Bossypants that Tina Fey tells toward the end.)
On Thu, Apr 28, 2011 at 8:09 AM, JP wrote:
Hi Honey,
Hope you and Mr Colton are doing good.Checking to see if might becoming home for Mother Day ?
If you do come home bring me a present too ....... 36 waist 34 inseam
Father
From: Katie Imming
Sent: Thursday, April 28, 2011 11:01 AM
To: JP
Subject: Re: Good Morning
For sure I will come!! Not sure which date - Fri or Sat or Sun but I will be there, I will check with Colton and make sure he can come too...if he does I will make sure he brings his 32 34 pants for you to steal, hehehe.
On Thu, Apr 28, 2011 at 11:04 AM, JP wrote:
LOL LOL LOL Dad
From: Katie Imming
Sent: Thursday, April 28, 2011 11:09 AM To: JP
Subject: Re: Good Morning
Glad you learned what LOL means, but do you know these:
GTFO
WTF
STFU
LMAO
ROTFL
I will buy you a cookie if you get any right...
On Thu, Apr 28, 2011 at 11:18 AM, JP wrote:
3 out of five the tpo ones where's my cookie?
From: Katie Imming
Sent: Thursday, April 28, 2011 12:54 PM
To: JP
Subject: Re: Good Morning
You have to tell me what they mean, write them out. Then I give you macadamia nut cookie.
On Thu, Apr 28, 2011 at 1:19 PM, JP wrote:
get the f out
what the f
shut the f up
?
?
On Thu, Apr 28, 2011 at 1:49 PM, Katie Imming wrote:
You win!!!
The others are:
Laughing My Ass Off
Rolling On The Floor Laughing
GTFO is the phrase of the day...
Love you!!!!
On Thu Apr 28, 2011 at 2:48 JP wrote:
Love You !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
COOKIE :)
And, that was it! Yes, it may not be as funny to an outsider, or even an insider, but it just goes to show you 1. your parents will totally pick up on text speak acronyms 2. despite his lack of interest in email communication my father has slipped about 4-5 inside jokes that live between the lines of these emails and 3. my dad is WAY cooler than yours.
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| I am the one at the caboose (clothing bottoms weren't really my thing). |
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